The Prophet’s Social Side with His Family

1. Gentleness towards the family:

The Prophet was very gentle towards his family. The Prophet instructed us saying: “Gentleness is not used to complete something except that it would be embellished.” The Prophet said to A’ishah: “O A’ishah, when Allah wants good for a household, its members would treat each other kindly.” (Targhib #2669)

One should not boss their family around unnecessarily or give them chores that are impossible to complete or treat them rudely when they are good towards him.

One has to control their emotions at all times, especially during arguments. A’ishah said: “A group of Jews entered upon the Prophet and they said to him ‘As-Saam Alaikum’, (i.e. death be upon you). I understood what they meant, and said to them: ‘May death be upon you! May the curses of Allah fall upon you as well!’ The Messenger of Allah calmly said: ‘O A’ishah slow down, Allah loves that you approach all your affairs in a kind manner.’ I said to the Messenger of Allah: ‘did you not hear what they said to you?’ Hesaid: ‘That is why I responded by saying “and may it be upon you.”’” (Bukhari #6401)

2. Serving his family:

The Prophet continually helped with household chores. A’ishah described what exactly that entailed. She said: “He would repair his shoes and sew his clothes.”

3. The Prophet would serve himself:

The Prophet would take care of his affairs by himself. He would not demand his wife to serve him. A’ishah said the Prophet would clean his clothes, milk the sheep, and serve himself. (Sahih al-Jami #496)

4. Spending on his family:

Generosity and spending on the family are principles that the Prophet planted in the hearts of his Companions. He said: “Indeed Allah is generous and loves generosity.” (Tirmidthi #2799)

The Prophet was asked: “What is the best form of charity?” He said: “The money you spend on your family is the greatest in reward.” (Muslim #995)

The matter of taking care of the needs of your wife is not a favor done towards one’s wife, but a duty upon the Muslim husband. The Prophet was asked: “What is the duty of a husband towards his wife?” He said: “To feed her as you would yourself, to clothe her as you would yourself and that you not hit her face or curse her and you should not forsake her except in the house.” (Abu Dawood #2142)

5. Comforting the family:

The Prophet sought comfort for his family as he would try his best to avoid all difficulties. Anas said: “The Prophet was travelling and a young boy was singing a tune that would make the camels walk at a faster pace. The Prophet called out to him: ‘Slow down!’ for he feared for the safety of his family.” (Bukhari #6210)

6. Forbearing nature of the Prophet:

The Prophet was always smiling, even when he faced problems at home. Umar said: “The men of Quraish would overcome their wives and would make them succumb to their will, but in Madinah, the women of the Ansar would overcome their men! Our women picked up these habits from the women of the Ansar. One day my wife was upset with me and yelled at me and I was shocked that this took place and I reprimanded her for that. With this, my wife said, “Why do you reprimand me? Indeed the wives of the Prophet do the same, and some of his wives even give him the ‘cold shoulder’ for a day till night!” This shocked me and I told her, “Any of them who does this is in a state of loss!” Umar then went to the house of his daughter Hafsa, the wife of the Prophet. Umar then verified what he had heard from his own wife and Hafsa concurred. Umar then exclaimed: “You are in a state of loss! Do you have any guarantee that the punishment of Allah would not descend upon you on account of Allah’s anger?” He then said: “Do not yell or give him the cold shoulder, if there is anything you want, ask me and I shall help you.” (Bukhari #5191)

7. Fulfilling the wishes of his wives:

The Prophet would immediately respond and take care of his family’s needs. A’ishah asked the Prophet: “All your wives have a Kunya (nickname), what shall my Kunya be?” The Prophet said: “Call yourself Umm Abdullah (i.e. mother of Abdullah)”. This is what A’ishah was called until she died. (Silsilah 1/255)

8. Caring for his wives:

The Prophet took care of his family in the best manner when they fell ill. A’ishah said: “Whenever one of the wives of the Prophet fell ill, the Prophet would recite the last chapters of the Quran upon them.” (Muslim #2192)

9. Greeting his family:

The Prophet would sit after Fajr with his companions until sunrise after which he would visit his wives. He would greet each one and make supplications for them. (Majma az-Zawaid #5/11)

10. Seeking counsel from his wives:

During the peace-treaty with the disbelievers of Quraish, he then commanded his Companions to slaughter their animals and shave their heads. The Companions were so saddened that they were not allowed to enter Makkah and perform the Umrah that not a single one of them got up to carry out this order. After repeating this command three times, no one got up to perform his orders, so the Prophet entered upon his wife, Umm Salamah and he told her what had happened. Upon hearing his complaint, she told him to go out and not talk to anyone until he slaughtered his animal and had shaved his head. The Prophet took her advice and acted upon it promptly, and when the Companions saw the Prophet slaughter his animal and shave his head, they all did the same immediately. (Al-Istidhkaar 3/611)

11. The Prophet sought permission from his wives:

One of the beautiful characteristics of the Prophet was that he never was unfair, even while he was ill. A’ishah said: “The Messenger of Allah sent to all his wives during his last sickness and said: “I cannot visit you all as I usually do, I seek your permission to stay with A’ishah.” His other wives agreed and allowed him to stay with her. (Abu Dawood #2137)

In another narration, the Prophet said: “Where shall I stay tomorrow? Where shall I stay tomorrow?” He was looking forward to Aisha’s turn, so all his wives allowed him to stay where he wished, and he stayed at ‘Aisha’s house until he died. A’ishah added: He died on the day of my usual turn, at my house. He died while his head was against my chest.” (Bukhari #890)

12. Involving the family:

The Messenger of Allah would always involve his family. Anas said: “One of the Prophet’s neighbors prepared a splendid meal for him, and he invited the Prophet. The Prophet pointed at his wife saying: ‘What about her?’ The man said: ‘No’, so the Prophet declined saying: ‘I will not attend!’ The man then invited the Prophet once again and the Prophet asked him: ‘What about her?’ The man once again said: ‘No’, so the Prophet declined his invitation yet again. The man then invited the Prophet for a third time and when the Prophet asked about A’ishah he invited her as well, so the Messenger of Allah accepted his invitation.” (Muslim #2037)

13. Correcting mistakes:

The Prophet used great wisdom when correcting the mistakes. One day A’ishah said: “Safiyah is very short…” she said this in a derogatory manner and the Prophet immediately stopped her from saying anything further and said: “You said a word, by Allah, were it mixed with the ocean it would have spoiled its water.” (Targhib 4/8)

Safiyah heard Hafsa saying “Safiyah is the daughter of a Jewish man!” When she heard this, she wept! The Prophet asked her: “Why do you weep?” She said: “Hafsa has said about me, ‘You are a daughter of a Jewish man!’” The Prophet calmly told her: “You are indeed the daughter of a Prophet and your Uncle is a Prophet and you are married to a Prophet! So how can she put you down?” The Prophet then told Hafsa: ‘Fear Allah O Hafsa!’ (Tirmidthi #3894)

14. The Prophet accepted the excuses of his family:

There is no doubt that mistakes may occur during marriage, a husband may do something wrong, as well a wife may do something wrong. When a spouse accepts the excuse of his family this would be indicative of the good mannerisms that the spouse possesses. One day the Prophet was waiting for A’ishah and she was a bit delayed. The Prophet asked her: “What held you back?” She said: “O Messenger of Allah I heard a beautiful recitation, I have never heard anything like it!” The Prophet then went and listened and he came back after a long period of time and said: “This is Salim the freed slave of Abu Hudhaifah.” (Takhrij al-Ihya 1/371)

15. Making his family happy:

The Prophet was keen on making his family happy. A’ishah said: “The Messenger of Allah asked me: ‘Are you not pleased that you shall be my wife both in this life and in the next?’ A’ishah responded: ‘Of course!’” (Silsilah #3011)

16. Kindness towards his family:

The Messenger of Allah dealt with those around him in the most gracious manner. A’ishah said: “When the Prophet was with his wives, he was the kindest person, the most generous of all people and was always smiling and laughing.” (Jami as-Saghir #6661)

17. Forgiving nature towards his family:

The Prophet was a very forgiving man. Even if a person intentionally made an error, he pardoned that individual. When the Prophet conquered Makkah and the people who were once his enemies stood before him, he asked them: “What do you think I shall do to you?” They said: “You are a gracious brother and a gracious cousin.” He then said: “Go, for you are all free!” The Prophet could have taken the opportunity to avenge the previous hardships and sufferings he faced from them, but instead he let them free. His family had the greatest share of this grace, when the Prophet asked his wives: “Do you have any lunch?” When the response was in the negative, he simply said: “I am fasting.” (Nasa’ee #2323)

18. The Prophet would give his family what they yearned for:

The Prophet would make a habit of trying his best to give his family what they yearned for as long as that matter was not one that was prohibited. A’ishah said: “O Messenger of Allah, all your Companions have performed the Hajj and Umrah (lesser pilgrimage) except for me!” The Prophet asked her: “Didn’t you perform Tawaf (circumambulate the Ka’bah) when you first arrived?” She said: “No.” The Prophet then said “Go with your brother to the area of Tan’eem and make intention to perform Umrah.” (Bukhari #1762)

The Prophet’s Humane Behavior

Jegens mensen in het algemeen: The Prophet was very humane in his treatment of others. He said: “O Allah Muhammad is only a human being; he becomes angry as others become angry. So any believer I have hurt, or spoken harshly towards or have punished, make that for him a source of forgiveness and a means of becoming closer to You O Allah on the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim #2601)...